South Dakota Dreaming

April 13, 2009

Here I am in Sioux Falls South Dakota after passing through Seattle and Denver on my way from Calgary.  Why is it that three flights are cheaper by $500 than two flights?  It doesn’t make sense except in the weird land of airlineconomics.  South Dakota is a new State for me, and puts my list of States visited up to 36 or so.  My impression so far?  Looks like Wisconsin or Winnipeg to tell you the truth, but of course all I’ve done so far is drive from the airport to the hotel.  Tomorrow I’m heading 40 minutes out into the countryside, no not to go sightseeing, but to visit a water plant of course. 

Unfortunately (but not surprisingly) my bag didn’t make it with me, I’m expecting it around 10 pm tonight.  It had better come, as Cleite is in it with Chart 1 done and 1.5 repeats of Chart 2.  I don’t want to lose my pretty shawl! 

And three airports and three flights of course leads to “Anne’s Pre-Flight Safety Speech”:

“Welcome to the flight(s) today, if you are on the wrong flight, stand up and get off and we’re all going to laugh at you.  If you don’t know how to click a seatbelt together, that is unbelievable, watch your neighbour do it.  If we crash, there really isn’t much hope, so just hang on, it should be over quick.  If we do by some miracle survive, you get to slide down the yellow slide which should be fun.  Now this is mostly directed at the men out there.  Imagine that the armrest represents an invisible barrier, which you can’t cross.  Please keep all your body parts, legs together, arms, elbows on your side.  Do not raise the armrest, the lady next to you will slam it back down to keep you on your side.  I realize you need to keep your legs far apart as possible, but just this once keep ’em together.  If your elbow is a millimeter over the lady next to you is allowed to poke you with a pointy stick until you get back to your side.  Also, if you tend to snoring or flatulence when you sleep, don’t sleep.  That’s pretty simple isn’t it?  And when you do sleep for two hours, arm and leg over on the wrong side of the invisible armrest line, with multiple flatulence, don’t talk to your neighbour.  She hates you.  She does not want to tell you where she is from.  She was trapped in the seat next to you and couldn’t move, trying not to smell, unable to reach her sandwich cause the guy in front fully reclined his seat.  She could hardly move.  She’s not from anywhere except a large pit of rage that smells like flatulence. 

Enjoy your flight.”

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7 Responses to “South Dakota Dreaming”

  1. sayingthings said

    Sorry your flight was so awful! Bleah. I hate flying, even in the best of situations.

    My parents almost moved to South Dakota before they went to Central TX instead. So I was almost raised there. Also, I was almost named Colleen. I’m so glad they made both decisions as they did.

  2. Anne said

    Ew. Yet another reason why I try never to leave home. I hate airline flights.

    Glad you arrived safely, even if your luggage did not. 😦

  3. melanie said

    No nose is burning right now but the rest of me is laughing. So sorry your flight sucked but then again, don’t most flights?

  4. nicolaknits said

    I love the pre-flight speech. If that was for real, everyone would start the journey laughing!

  5. Sunnyknitter said

    The next time I fly I’m sure that your preflight message will be running through my mind and I’ll be giggling even if the actual message is dull and boring. Thanks! Hope your trip home is less aromatic.

  6. Jewel said

    Sounds like your having a good time. I’m flying on the 29th of this month back to Memphis now I will have something to think about!!!

  7. Monica said

    Ohh, you poor thing! I’ve been there. I don’t mind if the man next to me takes the armrest – fine, have it – but when he’s 3″ into my seat? Uncool! I hope your baggage arrives safely and you enjoy your water plant visit. 🙂

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