Seven Weeks and Counting

March 4, 2011

Or a stolen moment from evening cluster feedings as an alternative title.  In the few minutes Althea slept in the bassinet today I chose to get some work done on my taxes rather than “fun” stuff like the internets. 

This week saw my birthday come and go, as essentially a non-event.  I didn’t leave the house, Mr. J coincidentally was home sick and helped out a bit, Mum came over with Chinese for lunch, and we ordered sushi for dinner, my treat since I hadn’t had it from before I got pregnant.  However the fact that it was a non-event makes me endlessly happy.  In previous years birthdays were reminders of another nail going into the coffin of my fertility, another year without a child, and a smaller and smaller of years left in the bin to have one.  Tic-toc.  This year, all that worry, anxiety, depression is gone with the cuteness that is Althea, who is my darling little girl.  She has definitely healed me of depressing birthdays!

A friend asked me this week if I felt like a mother yet.  I think the feeling comes over time, and not overnight, or at the moment of birth.  So far we are mostly caretakers, feeding, cleaning, and tending to our little girl.  However the other day I had a feeling of being a mother.  Althea and I had arrived back home after a good screaming session in the car seat, and I took her upstairs to the rocking chair.  As I soothed her, and felt her relax, the crying stop, her fast breathing slowing, ending in a state of calm I think I had an inkling of being a Mum.  Soothing hurt, making things better, hugging and kissing the bad things away.  It felt pretty good.

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4 Responses to “Seven Weeks and Counting”

  1. Cheryl S. said

    Sounds like you got a great birthday present, “Mum”!

  2. Sunnyknitter said

    Belated birthday wishes. Glad you got the present you wanted most! (You sound like a mum, even if you don’t feel it all the way yet.)

  3. melanie said

    It’s funny how we wait so long to be Mums (even if we don’t know we are waiting) and while you are right that the ‘momness’ doesn’t immediately happen the moment we give birth it doesn’t take long for it to sink in. I remember someone making the comment to me after Moira was born that I seemed so “natural” with her – like I had always been a mom. All I really remember from that time was thinking how weird it was that I was allowed to leave the hospital with this baby when I had NO IDEA what I was doing and then a couple months later you have gotten used to every moment being about the baby and I think that is where the so-called “naturalness” comes in – what choice do we have when we are living and breathing momness?

    I’m glad you got what you wanted for your birthday this year. : )

  4. Heather said

    Best present EVER!

    Are you coming to Moab, or is it too much with beautiful Althea?

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